BEST MAN SPEECH JOKEs
- When Paul asked me to be his best man, he told me that he expected me to make a traditional speech to the bride and groom. No problem, I thought. But he forgot to mention the ninety-five other people who'd be present, otherwise I wouldn't have agreed to do it.
- Good afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen. I'll admit to you that I'm extremely nervous right now. As the people sitting near to me at the table can testify, it really is possible to smell fear.
- It can be said that a bride’s attitude towards her betrothed can be summed up by three words associated with weddings: Aisle, altar, hymn.
- I’ll get straight to the toasts. I don’t want to keep the happy couple any longer than I have to as I know they are itching to go upstairs and put their things together.
- I had an extremely difficult time cutting this speech down to a reasonable length. In fact at one point, it ran to over an hour and fifteen minutes. In the end, I've come up with a compromise. I'll read you the five-minute-long version. Straight after that, I'll do the unabridged one, and you can decide which you liked best.
- My name is Jason and I'm the Best Man. It really is impossible to praise the Groom too highly – in fact, while writing this speech; I found it impossible to praise him at all.
- People have often commented that myself and Paul are like siblings. I suppose I take on the role of an older brother. (Turns to groom) Would you agree with that, little sis?
- Hello everyone, my name is Jason. I’m the chap that Paul asked to be his helper and right hand man over the preparatory months and concluding day of this wedding celebration. But he’s on his own tonight.
- Organizing the seating at a wedding reception can be a tricky business, prone to get political. As best man, I offered to step in and help Paul and Linda. My idea was to use the wedding present list, and put those who bought the biggest items nearest the front, and work it to the back, the smaller the gift. Whoever bought the toast rack won't be able to hear this, as they're out in the car park.
- Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen. I apologise in advance for not being a public speaker. If you see me looking down at this piece of paper again and again, it's not actually my notes, it's a picture of the massive drink I'm going to have as soon as this is over.
